How to Solve Daily Life Problems
Everyone has problems in life. For the most part, we are able to quickly solve them without much trouble. We either come up with a quick solution or use a strategy that worked in the past. For example, if you overslept in the morning and are going to be late for work, you might decide to call work and explain your situation while getting dressed and ready in half the usual time.
Problems become more difficult when there is no obvious solution and strategies that you have tried in the past don’t work. These types of problems cause a great deal of stress and anxiety and require new and different strategies.
The Steps to Solving Daily Life Problems
Step 1: Is there a problem?
As a first step, it is important to realize that there is a problem. Because problems can cause anxiety, many people will try to avoid, ignore or procrastinate when dealing with difficult issues in their lives.
Unfortunately, avoiding your problems usually causes them to come back, and a small problem can become a big problem over time. So, how can you recognize a problem early on?
Make a list. Get in the habit of writing out a list of the problems in your life. It is easier to work on a problem if you have written it down. This approach will also help you to see how certain problems seem to come up again and again.
Hint: Write it down. When a problem causes you anxiety, it is best to use a pen and paper and to work it out in written form. You are more likely to deal with a problem when it is written down in front of you.
Use your feelings. We often make the mistake of thinking our negative emotions are the problem. This is false. For example, you might think, “the problem is that I am always stressed at work.” Where as it is more accurate to say there is a problem at work (such as difficulties with coworkers or a huge workload), which is making you feel stressed. Use your negative emotions to guide you: when you are feeling anxious, stressed, frustrated, or annoyed in a particular situation, try to find the problem that is making you feel that way.
Find the challenge. A huge obstacle for most people is the negative way that they look at problems: if you think that problems are completely threatening, or that having them is a sign of weakness or failure, and you see yourself as a bad problem solver, you won’t solve the problem! That is, even if you are good at solving problems, you won’t try to deal with them if you don’t think you can and you don’t see any benefit to it.
If you can find some benefit or opportunity in a problem, you are more likely to work on it. For example, if your problem is not getting along with coworkers, the opportunity might be that it is a chance to improve your communication skills and possibly resolve some arguments with your coworkers.
Key Point: There is always a benefit to solving problems. Remember that if you solve a problem, even a difficult one, it is one less thing to worry about, and one less problem on your problem list!
Step 2: What is the problem?
Before trying to solve a problem, you first need to define it. Here are some tips on how to properly define what your problem is:
Focus on the problem itself. Ask yourself the following questions:
What is the situation? (e.g. my boss gives me too much work)
What would I like the situation to be? (e.g. I would like my boss to give me less work)
What is the obstacle that is keeping me from my desired situation? (e.g. I’m unsure how to talk to my boss about my work obligations)
You can then put your problem into a sentence. For example, the problem is that my boss gives me too much work; I would like to have less work, but I’m not sure how to ask him to reduce my workload.
Just the facts: Be careful to avoid putting opinions or assumptions into your definition. For example, thinking that your work problem is that “my boss is a jerk” is an opinion. Besides, it makes the problem almost impossible to solve.
Be specific and concrete: If you are too vague when defining your problem, it will be difficult to know how to even begin solving it. For example, thinking that, “my problem is my work” is not specific or concrete; what is it about your work that is a problem? How will you even start fixing this kind of problem?
Step 3: What are my goals for this problem?
In order to know whether you have solved your problems, it is important to know ahead of time what a solved problem would look like. Here are some tips for setting goals:
Be realistic: Make sure that your goals are achievable; if they are unrealistic, you will probably not reach them and you will feel badly. For example, with the work problem, if your goal is to only do your work when you feel like it, you will likely not solve your problem.
Be specific: If your goals are vague, you won’t know when you have reached them. For example, if you think, “my goal is to be happy at work”, what does that mean? Do you want to be happy all the time? You happy
Everyone has problems in life. For the most part, we are able to quickly solve them without much trouble. We either come up with a quick solution or use a strategy that worked in the past. For example, if you overslept in the morning and are going to be late for work, you might decide to call work and explain your situation while getting dressed and ready in half the usual time.
Problems become more difficult when there is no obvious solution and strategies that you have tried in the past don’t work. These types of problems cause a great deal of stress and anxiety and require new and different strategies.
The Steps to Solving Daily Life Problems
Step 1: Is there a problem?
As a first step, it is important to realize that there is a problem. Because problems can cause anxiety, many people will try to avoid, ignore or procrastinate when dealing with difficult issues in their lives.
Unfortunately, avoiding your problems usually causes them to come back, and a small problem can become a big problem over time. So, how can you recognize a problem early on?
Make a list. Get in the habit of writing out a list of the problems in your life. It is easier to work on a problem if you have written it down. This approach will also help you to see how certain problems seem to come up again and again.
Hint: Write it down. When a problem causes you anxiety, it is best to use a pen and paper and to work it out in written form. You are more likely to deal with a problem when it is written down in front of you.
Use your feelings. We often make the mistake of thinking our negative emotions are the problem. This is false. For example, you might think, “the problem is that I am always stressed at work.” Where as it is more accurate to say there is a problem at work (such as difficulties with coworkers or a huge workload), which is making you feel stressed. Use your negative emotions to guide you: when you are feeling anxious, stressed, frustrated, or annoyed in a particular situation, try to find the problem that is making you feel that way.
Find the challenge. A huge obstacle for most people is the negative way that they look at problems: if you think that problems are completely threatening, or that having them is a sign of weakness or failure, and you see yourself as a bad problem solver, you won’t solve the problem! That is, even if you are good at solving problems, you won’t try to deal with them if you don’t think you can and you don’t see any benefit to it.
If you can find some benefit or opportunity in a problem, you are more likely to work on it. For example, if your problem is not getting along with coworkers, the opportunity might be that it is a chance to improve your communication skills and possibly resolve some arguments with your coworkers.
Key Point: There is always a benefit to solving problems. Remember that if you solve a problem, even a difficult one, it is one less thing to worry about, and one less problem on your problem list!
Step 2: What is the problem?
Before trying to solve a problem, you first need to define it. Here are some tips on how to properly define what your problem is:
Focus on the problem itself. Ask yourself the following questions:
What is the situation? (e.g. my boss gives me too much work)
What would I like the situation to be? (e.g. I would like my boss to give me less work)
What is the obstacle that is keeping me from my desired situation? (e.g. I’m unsure how to talk to my boss about my work obligations)
You can then put your problem into a sentence. For example, the problem is that my boss gives me too much work; I would like to have less work, but I’m not sure how to ask him to reduce my workload.
Just the facts: Be careful to avoid putting opinions or assumptions into your definition. For example, thinking that your work problem is that “my boss is a jerk” is an opinion. Besides, it makes the problem almost impossible to solve.
Be specific and concrete: If you are too vague when defining your problem, it will be difficult to know how to even begin solving it. For example, thinking that, “my problem is my work” is not specific or concrete; what is it about your work that is a problem? How will you even start fixing this kind of problem?
Step 3: What are my goals for this problem?
In order to know whether you have solved your problems, it is important to know ahead of time what a solved problem would look like. Here are some tips for setting goals:
Be realistic: Make sure that your goals are achievable; if they are unrealistic, you will probably not reach them and you will feel badly. For example, with the work problem, if your goal is to only do your work when you feel like it, you will likely not solve your problem.
Be specific: If your goals are vague, you won’t know when you have reached them. For example, if you think, “my goal is to be happy at work”, what does that mean? Do you want to be happy all the time? You happy
